If you refuse to turn off your brain to enjoy a silly action movie, that’s on you. And there are few sillier than the 1999 schlock masterpiece “Simon Sez.” Yes, we use the term “masterpiece” half-sarcastically, because when it comes to this grade of goofy, over-the-top action movie, “Simon Sez” hits the nail on the head — starting with its gimmicky star, controversial NBA great Dennis Rodman.
In the film, Rodman plays smooth-talking, wild-mannered Interpol agent Simon who, with the help of his old friend Nick (Dane Cook), is on a mission to take down a dangerous weapons dealer (Jérôme Pradon). Nick’s boss’s daughter (Natalia Cigliuti) has been kidnapped, too, of course, because Action Movie Plot, and don’t you know it, the two situations are connected. Martial arts fans will appreciate the choreography and stunt direction of Hong Kong stuntman Xin Xin Xiong, while for everyone else, Rodman’s involvement makes the whole endeavor worthwhile.
Channeling equal parts Wesley Snipes and — perhaps inadvertently — Robin Williams, Rodman can’t match the chops of either but is worth watching for the novelty alone. Sure, the movie makes plenty of nonsensical choices (like casting Rodman as an Interpol agent in the first place), but that’s kind of the fun. As a “so-bad-its-good” B-movie, “Simon Sez” will only disappoint if you take it seriously.
