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Does Captain America Do Kaiju Poops? One Ridiculous Marvel Theory Says Yes

The idea that Captain America spends an excessive amount of time every day on the toilet may not sit right with some, which is why some people in the Reddit thread have tried to come up with their own theories to explain how Cap doesn’t poop all that much. For instance, Redditor u/Vealzy suggests, “Or he just absorbs every single thing from his food and he never poops.” However, others are quick to state that would require a tremendous amount of energy, with the mass of the food he’s eating needing to go somewhere. In response to that, the super soldier serum could’ve done all sorts of wild things to Captain America’s biology, so perhaps there’s some in-universe explanation 

Of course, the answer to how Cap’s metabolism deals with these potential toilet troubles could lie with another superhero. With the ability to run at super speed, the Flash also raises some weird body questions, especially concerning how he’s able to generate so much energy. In The CW series, “The Flash,” Cisco Ramon (Carlos Valdes) creates high-calorie protein bars to help make up the deficit. It’s possible something similar could exist within the MCU. After all, if Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) could create an Iron Man suit in a cave, he could probably come up with a tasty treat for Cap. It would provide the caloric intake Steve requires but be low enough in mass to where it wouldn’t convert into scary kaiju poops that would make the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) blush. 

Marvel Studios needs to forget exploring the Multiverse and instead focus its energies on providing a definitive answer to Captain America’s poops once and for all. It’s what the people want. 

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